I will try to fix you

I will try to fix you

For every falling sun, there's a morning after

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jaxchaotic asked: I haven't cut in about one month and I think these other people need to hear and think about why every time I feel like cutting I think about my little sister & my parents and how hurt they were when they found out. And if they haven't yet, they will

xx

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There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. 
That will be the beginning…
Hang in there, it gets better.

There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. 

That will be the beginning…

Hang in there, it gets better.

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Anonymous asked: I started cutting a few years ago, just once or twice a month, and last year I did it like 4 or 5 times a month but they faded quick so they were easy to hide. This year it's gotten way worse, I do it at least once a day, and they're getting deeper. the scars from January are still really visible and like impossible to hide. We have to wear a short sleeves t shirt in gym and woodwork, now jewelry. So people are starting to notice and ask questions. I do want help, but I don't know how to get it.

What I did was go to the school counselor first (it wasn’t my intention, but anyway). She told my parents that maybe I should go to a therapist (but I didn’t say anything about my self harm then). And after that, even with its ups and downs, everything turned out well. But it’s not necessary to do it that way. You can talk to a friend or someone close to you first if you feel more comfortable. But don’t be scared love. There’s no right or wrong way to do this. Just go and tell them. Say everything you’ve waited so long to let out. It’s going to be alright. Good luck x

-M

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Anonymous asked: I have large scars on my wrists and makeup only fades them a little. I usually wear bracelets but I am constantly fixing them and I always see people looking at my wrists. In gym we have to wear a short sleeved shirt, no jewlerey and I have talked to the teacher about it, she still won't allow it. The same thing with wood shop. My friends have started noticing them but I lie and say I scratch myself in my sleep... not working well. Is there any way I can hide them better or should I tell someone

There’s not many ways of hide them in PE. You can try wearing a long sleeve shirt under the tee shirt or wear wristbands or sweatbands, if your teacher lets you. Another way is covering them with bandages or band aids, but that can be suspicious if they already suspect something. But yes, I think you should tell someone love.

-M

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Help Me Get Through This (Ale’s Story)

I barely started cutting three months ago and it’s already getting worse. I’ve gone from my thighs to my wrists and from using needles to using blades. I’m suddenly not eating as much and I’ve attempted suicide twice within a month. A few kids at my school know and are trying to help me but my best friends don’t know. They’re serious Christians and are completely against it. I don’t want to loose my friendship with them. one of the reasons i became so depressed is because i wanted to feel loved. I was tired of being just a “wallflower”. my parents don’t know and I don’t want them to know. I’m really scared of loosing them. When I told my mom I had thought about it but didn’t do it, she cried for two hours straight. I’m scared of what could happen if she knew. Please help me.

Life is full of ‘What if…?’. You know what they say, if you never try you’ll never know. And you can’t live with that uncertainty forever. Find someone you trust and that is open minded if possible. Go to them and tell them. You don’t need to start by telling your parents and friends, baby steps. Stop being scared love. Let your feelings get out. It will get better x

-M

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Anonymous asked: How can i hide my scars in pe i cant wear bracelets or anything like that :(

Cover them with make up. Or put a bandage or a band aid on it and make up an excuse, saying you hurt yourself accidentally. If they let you, wear a long sleeve shirt under your t shirt, or wristbands/sweatbands. You can say you feel a little ill to do exercise too and maybe find a way to skip that class. I hope this is helpful for you love. Take care x

-M

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Anonymous asked: Hello, last week I started cutting, not deep without blood, but yesterday I started doing it deeper (not like that bad ones, just with a bit of blood) and I know it's not okay and I feel stressed just to hide them, I had to lie to my best friend and I don't want to start self harming a lot but I can't help it, and I don't know if I'm depressed or not, I smile and feel happy, but when I think I feel bad, I'm crying just to write this with the song and I don't know what to do.

Hi love. You already know how it feels to cut now. You already know how it feels to have to hide your cuts to the ones you love and lie about it all. The farther you go into that cave, the harder and longer it takes to get out from it. Every angsty, odd and numbness feeling you feel with it becomes more and more. You need to cry? Cry. You’re feeling bad? Say it. Your problems are important and there is someone out there that will listen. That is not the road you need to take and you know it. I’ll be here with you through it all, whatever your mistakes and achievements are. Stay strong love x

-M

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Anonymous asked: I feel like such an awful person because I promised my little brother I wouldn't cut anymore and I relapsed today..I mean, he's nearly fourteen and I'm almost sixteen so he understands everything, but I still feel so bad.....I've been trying so hard to not cut for him, and I failed him and broke my promise....I don't know how I'm supposed to tell him....I'm an awful big sister....

You’re not an awful big sister, love. It’s not something you did on purpose. That’s why I think you shouldn’t promise anyone you’ll stop, because it’s harder than they think and if you relapse it just makes everything worse to overcome. He needs to know that sometimes this is something we do without really wanting to. Promise him you’ll try your hardest, always. But try to keep that promise mostly for yourself. And if you relapse, you know you can move on and try again. You need to acknowledge that this takes time and effort, but it doesn’t mean it’s impossible. The key is always getting up if you fall. One day you’ll do it, I’m sure of that. Believe in yourself too. Take care x

-M

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Anonymous asked: I've been clean for a long time and I just got in a fight with my girlfriend an hour ago and I just relapsed. I feel like I should tell her because it's the right thing to do, but I don't want her to think it was her fault... What do I do??

You need to talk to her and tell her the truth, yes, I think it’s the right thing to do. Explain to her as best as you can how everything feels inside your mind, because it’s hard to understand something you haven’t experienced. I don’t think she’ll believe it was her fault if you explain the situation to her. Show her and tell her how much you love her, so she never has doubts about it. It’s going to be ok, don’t worry. Take care x

-M

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Anonymous asked: Every time I cut I feel numb. I feel empty and have no emotion so I want to cut even more. I just want to feel better and I don't understand why I'm not feeling anything. I feel physical pain but the emotion pain inside is still there. I don't know how to make it all go away. This is the closest thing I got to relief and it doesn't make me feel that much better.

For some, it works as a way of bottling up their feelings, of burying them deep inside and ignore them. And that is as bad as using it as a stress or sadness reliever. It won’t be enough, believe me, it’s never enough. Find other ways, it’s a work you need to do. Cry until you can’t anymore, hug someone tightly, go to some place far from everything and scream as loud as you can, sing to the top of your lungs, run as fast as you can, throw an egg against a wall with all your strenght, lie on the grass and breathe deeply through your nose, feel everything that is outside and inside you. Talk about your feelings, don’t keep them to yourself. Find your passion and do what you love. Show yourself how strong you can really be. There is so much more. You just need to pay attention to the small details. Make life as beautiful as you are inside.

-M

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Anonymous asked: I don't know what to do, I feel so sad all the time and it's only getting worse. I really want to talk to someone about it but I have a friend who cuts herself and has been depressed for a while too so I don't want to take any attention away from her. I cry every night but no one knows. I don't want people to judge me but I just want to die. It comes in waves of horrible pain that make me want to just stab myself to let it out because there is no one to talk to. What do I do?

The fact that there’s someone that needs help doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to receive some too. You need to tell someone how you feel. What you’re doing is bottling up your feelings and they’re killing you from the inside. You need to let them out or you’ll never get better. It’s the best advice I can give you. They won’t judge you, don’t be scared of that. You have a problem, like me and like every other person. Choose someone you trust and go to tell them. Don’t give yourself so little importance. You matter in this world too, yes? And anyone who says the contrary is an idiot. It’ll get better. Meanwhile, try to stay strong love x

-M

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Anonymous asked: Does starvation count as self harm? I've been refusing to eat for almost a month now. I'm seeing the results I want, I'm tired of feeling fat. A friend of mine is worried, but I'm fine.. I hardly feel hungry anymore.

Yes, it counts as self harm too. More exactly, as an eating disorder. I’m really sorry to tell you this, I don’t mean to be so blunt.. but you’re not fine. What you’re doing is a harmful behavior for your body. You can get seriously ill and some diseases are permanent and incurable. You can die if you don’t stop this. You can do exercise instead of starving, doing that is not the only option you have. Yes, it takes longer; but it has more lasting effects. Besides, is also good for your physical and mental health. I can try to change your mind, but nothing will work if you don’t think about what I’m saying. Please at least promise you’ll think about this. I know you have your doubts or you wouldn’t have talked to me.

-M

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Anonymous asked: I hate how I look. I think I'm too fat and I hate myself for it. It seems like no matter how much I work out nothing changes. My boyfriend says he think first look fine and that's all that should matter but I really just can't seem to drop it.

Self esteem, for some people, is something really hard to achieve. I know it because it happened (still happens sometimes) to me. And I know by a fact that you can do this too. Something that helps a lot is recognize your talents. Like every person, you have virtues and flaws. And that doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Every day, starting by the moment you read this, write something you like about yourself (and don’t say you hate absolutely everything about your being, there has to be at least something). Add a new word each day that passes and read it every morning when you wake up, or at night when you go to sleep. Our physical appearance is not the most important thing we have, on the contrary. And your boyfriend definitely thinks the same. Doing things for others also helps to your self confidence, sometimes it makes you see there are more important things in life. My psychologist has helped me a lot, or maybe it was just the fact that I can talk to someone about my problems. You can still work out, if you want to. But not to look skinny like a magazine model. Doing exercise it’s really healthy for your body. And I’m not a doctor, but looking like those women on tv certainly is not healthy at all. I know this is something that everybody must tell you when you say you look fat, but you don’t need to be skinny to be pretty. I mean it. But is something you have to work on every day, alright? At least promise me you’ll try. Don’t be so hard on yourself, because you don’t deserve it. Try to gain more strenght along your life and one day those things won’t matter anymore. If you feel insecure or sad or worthless or whatever, you can talk to me. I’ll always do my hardest to make you feel better. Take care and start to love yourself a little more x

-M

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Anonymous asked: I use a really thin razor blade. and they leave very thin cuts, so I've never had huge scars on my wrists, but I started cutting on my thigh and went deeper than I intended to (not deep enough to need help but deep enough to leave a bigger scar than usual) ever since I've been thinking about telling my mum (I thought about it before then but my sister found out because of that scar) but I don't know what to say, or where to start... any advice?

Tell her you need to talk to her about something important. Try to be subtle when you say it so as not to scare her. Sit down with her, in some place where you can have some privacy. Tell her how you’ve been feeling lately. Tell her you hurt yourself (sometimes is better not to use the words ‘cut’ or ‘self harm’). Take your time but don’t ramble about it, or you’ll worry her more. Try to concentrate mostly on your feelings and not on talking about the action of cutting. Surely she will ask ‘Why?’ and ‘Where?’. Be prepared for any kind of reaction from her. It’s a lot to take in, so give her time. Allow yourself to cry all you need to and if she hugs you, hug her back and let all your emotions out until there’s nothing left. Try to do it as soon as you can so you don’t overthink about it. It’s going to be alright love. Take care and good luck x

-M

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Anonymous asked: Tonight, I relapsed and cut myself again. The thing is though that I didn't have an excuse to this time.. I just did it.. Because I can.. What's wrong with me..

Love, nothing’s wrong with you. This is a hard time of your life, is a problem you’re dealing with. Nothing less, nothing more. With self harm, usually you hit the stage where you don’t need an excuse anymore. You constantly have that ‘urge’. You need to quit this ‘addiction’ little by little. Every time you want to cut ask yourself this questions, try not to leave any of them without an answer… Why do you want to cut? Do you expect you get some kind of relief or comfort with it? What are your feelings right now? How cutting would make you feel? Would you feel better after you do it? (ask the same to yourself an hour later) Do you think you deserve to be punished like that? Is there something else you can do in return, to make yourself feel better? Is there someone you can talk to instead of bottling up your feelings?. Write them down, if you want, as well as your answers. See if they change with time. This won’t last forever, I promise. Try to stay strong, make yourself that promise. Take care x

-M

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